Caring for the caregiver

Simple self-care tips to be the best version of yourself

If you want to take the best possible care of your child, you must first take the best possible care of yourself.

Does any of this sound like you?

You become so busy meeting the needs of your child that you don’t take the time to relax, cry or simply think.
You think that your child needs you right now, more than ever.
Your to-do list is endless.
You are constantly overwhelmed.
You are exhausted, stressed out or on the verge of a breakdown.

If so, you are long overdue for a break. You earned it and you owe it to yourself.

You may be thinking, "But I don't have the time." That's understandable. But you can start small, just five or 10 minutes at a time, to build self-care into your routine. We have tried and tested tips to help, crowd-sourced by fellow caregivers of children with autism and other disabilities.

Taking care of yourself as a caregiver

Here are some tips from parents who have experienced what you are going through:

Get going. Get your child started in therapies and activities. If you know your child is engaged in meaningful activities, you can carve some time for yourself. It will also help you build a team of support for you and your child.
Ask for help. Asking for help can be very hard, especially at first. People around you may want to help, but may not know how. Is there someone who can take your other kids somewhere for an afternoon? Or cook dinner for your family one night?
Talk to someone. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Let someone know what you are going through and how you feel. Someone who just listens can be a great source of strength. If you can’t get out of the house, use the phone to call a friend.
Consider joining a support group. Get started with Finding Your Community or check out what's available to you locally in our Resource Guide.
- One study from Vanderbilt University, a part of the Autism Speaks Autism Treatment Network, found that mothers of children with autism benefit significantly from weekly stress-reduction classes led by other mothers. The classes reduced previously high levels of personal stress, anxiety and depression and improved the mom’s interactions with their children.
- Check your local school district's Special Education Parent Teacher Association.
Find a recreational program for children with autism. This may be a good way to meet other parents just like you. Get started with Autism and recreation or learn Tips to create inclusive sports and recreation activities.
Go for a walk, even if it is for just 15 minutes. Walking boosts mood, increases energy, improves sleep, and reduces stress. It is especially helpful if you can do it outdoors. But there are a number of popular, professionally led YouTube videos of walking at home, in place, in increments from 10- to 30-minutes, or more.
Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation. PMR is a mindfulness technique that involves tensing or squeezing and then relaxing your muscles. It can be done anywhere, in as little as 10-minutes and self-guided.
Consider keeping a journal. It is well-documented that writing our deepest thoughts and feelings about them is linked with improved immune function, improved emotional and physical health, and positive behavioral changes. Some parents have found a journal to be a helpful tool for keeping track of their child’s progress, what is working and what isn’t. But it is just important to do this for yourself.
As a parent, always remember to trust your gut. There are many paths to take, treatment options and opinions. You know your child best. Work with your child’s treatment team to find what works best for your child and your family.
Monitor your time online. Sometimes, the time you spend on the internet will be incredibly valuable. Other times, it can lead to doom scrolling; on social media especially, it can lead to fear of missing out, unrealistic social expectations and comparisons, and misinformation. Those just lead to stress.