Home for the holidays: Helping family members with autism have a happy holiday break
November 20, 2019
No matter what holiday you celebrate, this time of year is a special time for many families. For some children with autism, holidays can be challenging. Martha C., a member of our Autism Response Team and mom of an autistic son, shares tips on helping your child adjust to a change in routine and celebrate the season in a fun and safe way.
Structuring time away from school
For some children with autism, holiday celebrations and time away from school can be overwhelming. Being away from school can be a nice break, but the change in routine can be disruptive. Understanding your child’s needs during this time can help make the season enjoyable for everyone.
Here’s what you can do to help make the most of your child’s holiday break:
Before the break
Communicate with your child about what it means to have time off from school. Discuss how the break is like being home on a weekend, just longer.
- Connect with your child’s support team. Consistency and structure can be helpful for your child during breaks from school and services. Ask about supports that can help maintain your child’s progress and provide a routine during the break from school.
- Prepare your child a few weeks in advance. If your child likes to have countdowns or reminders, mark the days on a calendar so your child has a visual representation of when the break will be. Cross off the days on the calendar as you get closer to the holiday break.
During the break
- Keep as much structure in your child’s life as you can.
- Allow time for breaks. These are short breaks from activities to help your child self-regulate and deal with challenging emotions or behavior or with sensory discomfort. If your child will be spending time at activities away from home, schedule some quiet time during the day.
- Be flexible. Your child may decide at the last minute that they’d rather stay home instead of going out for an activity. If possible, choose another day or time.
- Look for local activities or programs during the time off from school. Visit our Resource Guide and calendar of autism-friendly events to find activities in your local area.
Being with family and friends
Holidays often mean spending time with family and friends, including some you may not see often. You may have to travel to someone’s home. Or you may have people come to your home—and they may even stay for a while. Any of these situations can be hard to manage, especially for autistic people.
Here’s what you can do to help make holiday gatherings fun for everyone:
- Help others understand your child’s needs and preferences. For example, if your child doesn’t like to be hugged or touched, let people know not to do these things ahead of time.
- Have a favorite or preferred item for your child. This is something that helps calm your child and focus their attention. Examples include fidgets, headphones, books or a tablet. Decide on a code word or signal (like a break card) that your child can use to tell you when they need a break.
- Prepare your child for decorations that may be in and around the home. These may be disruptive for your child. Talk about decorations with your family members before you go to their home so they understand why your child may ignore or dislike them.
- Make sure there’s a quiet space, like a bedroom, where your child can take a break. It’s OK if your child needs to spend some time alone away from all the excitement.
- Make a photo album with pictures of the people your child will see to help your child prepare for conversations that may be outside of their normal routine.
- If your child has special dietary needs, make sure you have the right foods on hand.
Presents can be oh so exciting! But the commotion that comes with unwrapping them may not be fun for your child. Here’s what you can do to help your child know what to expect about opening presents:
- Use visual supports. If visual schedules or teaching stories are helpful to your child, create one to have on hand to help prepare for gift-giving.
- If your child talks a lot about gifts, ask them to make a list of gifts they want, and create a plan to structure how often this topic comes up. For example, each day give your child five chips that they can exchange for five minutes of talking about gifts.
- Practice opening gifts ahead of time. Help your child understand that others will be opening gifts, too.
- Be flexible. Your child may not want to open gifts. All the excitement about gifts may be overwhelming. Your child may want to open gifts at another time or in a quieter room. Or they may not be interested in gifts at all.
Making new traditions
Here are some things you can do to start some autism-friendly holiday traditions for your whole family:
- Incorporate special interests. Add your child’s favorite characters to your holiday decorations.
- If your child may be bothered by decorations, put them up little by little over time. Start with one part of your home or one type of decoration and slowly add more.
- Find out about autism-friendly Santa events in your area. These events give kids with autism time to meet with Santa in a calm, quiet place. Autism Speaks is pleased to partner with Cherry Hill Programs again this year to offer sensory-friendly Santa experiences in shopping spots across the country. Santa can’t wait to share autism-friendly moments with your family!
Autism Speaks wishes you and your family a fun, safe and happy holiday season.