My son with autism let me in and I'm so grateful

By Kathy and Ryan Hooven

Ryan and Kathy

Follow Kathy Hooven's blog, The AWEnesty of Autism.

When my son Ryan was asked to write an assignment in school about his parents, he chose me, his mom. I loved everything he wrote, the good, the bad, all of it, because he so rarely lets me “in” and what a gift it is when he does. (Shared with Ryan’s permission, as is everything I share.)

When asked what he admires most about me, Ryan said, “My mother has an incredibly strong sense of emotion and pride in me. After my musical performance, I’ll greet her and notice that her face is wet and has reddish tear marks from crying because she’s so wonderfully proud of what I am capable of. One other time I admired her emotional sensitivity was when her best friend’s 8 year old daughter died from brain cancer and my mom’s soul seemed just about as injured as her friend’s. My mother cannot lose or be separated from or be proud of a loved one without crying, which I greatly admire because I feel the same way.”

(I know, right?)

When Ryan had to come up with when he sees his dear old mom at her worst he wrote, “Despite her being a proud, loving person, my mother also has a dreadfully irritating side to her. Whenever I have a test or a musical audition/performance coming up and I already feel prepared and at my best, she pushes me to be better when I already know I am ready and that gets me very deep under my skin. In addition, she thinks the way I live could be better when I’m already comfortable with my lifestyle. Overall she doesn’t mean to, but, she is constantly acting as if she wants me to be perfect and that gets on my nerves. Stop this mom-no one is perfect.”

(Ouch.)

Finally, Ryan was asked what his parents might say about having him as our son. “My parents love me and think I am the best son to ever exist, so they would say that it’s an honor to have me as their son. According to them, if they hadn’t birthed and raised me, they wouldn’t know where they’d be in their lives. My mom is always studying my diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder and her studies have resulted in a blog she has been writing for years, so if I didn’t exist, she probably wouldn’t have a job. Unlike most parents, my parents are overly attached to me and that’s how they’ve been for years and that’s the way it will continue to be.”

(True story)

A big huge shout out to my Ryan for not just letting me in, but, for letting all of you in too. I think we are both equally blessed to have one another.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

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