My Brother Vinnie
By Lucy Ireland
Editor's note: The opinions expressed herein are those of the author exclusively.
By Lucy Ireland
Editor's note: The opinions expressed herein are those of the author exclusively.
“What is it like to have a brother with Autism?” I have been asked this question since the day Vinnie was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. It is a difficult question to answer, so my first reply has always been, “What is it like not to?” You see, Vinnie and I are only a year apart and I have never known life without the idiosyncrasies of his, often, puzzling behavior. Yet, I know this response falls short of the expectation for some meaningful insight into the life of a sibling. So, while I will never be able to speak for every sibling who has a brother or sister with autism, I will try to explain what it is like to live with the unique individual that is Vinnie Ireland.
First, I might start by explaining the overwhelming amount of stress that Vinnie has caused my family. I could tell stories of times when he ran away from home, kicked or pushed a caretaker, or took scissors to all of the paintings and pictures in my parent's house. I could also tell you that the only reason my family moved from Los Angeles, California to Chapel Hill, North Carolina was so that Vinnie could enroll in the Division TEACCH program at the University of North Carolina. However, while these anecdotes may be informative, they give the false impression that Vinnie is a burden no family should be forced to bear. This is hardly the case, as he brings an immense amount of joy to my family. Thus, in a second attempt to answer the question, I could tell you that I owe my endless knowledge of Disney movies, characters, and songs to Vinnie. I could also tell you about Vinnie's ability to eat an entire wheel of brie cheese, or his collection of every color and style of tennis shoe anyone could have ever wanted. I could also tell you that, despite the chill of North Carolina's winters, he can spend hours at a time gripping the rope of an inner tube on the back of our boat at Hyco Lake in mid December. However, while all of these anecdotes may bring humor to our lives and really do explain “what its like” to have a brother with autism, they fail to account for the way in which Vinnie has changed my life.
In my attempt to explain this, I should start off by telling you about Vinnie's lifestyle. He is spoiled by every single person that works with him (even if they try to claim that they are the “only person who can say no to him.”) It is simply impossible to resist the temptation to give my brother every little thing he wants and if you knew him you would understand why. Vinnie is the most charming person in the world. If he weren't constantly immersed in his own autistic world, I am positive that he would be the most popular guy at East Chapel Hill High School. In fact, despite his disorder, Vinnie and I can walk together through the halls of my high school and hear kids from my graduating class shout “Hey Vinnie!” despite the age difference or his obvious eccentricities. Additionally, it would be difficult to go any place in Chapel Hill, North Carolina without running into someone who wants to stop to talk to Vinnie. It is amazing to me that, although his lack of language and social skills often keep him from answering these greetings properly, no one ever seems to take offence to his indifference.
Nevertheless, Vinnie's greatest gift is not his popularity, his ability to eat wheels of cheese, or even his charming personality, but it is his ability to bring people together. Because of his struggle with autism, Vinnie pays no attention to differences in race, gender, or nationality. Therefore, he is not prejudiced toward anyone (except, perhaps, Cruella DeVille) and he is able to interact with and benefit from a great many different care takers and friends. Moreover, in face of the common goal to help Vinnie in his struggle with autism, all of these individuals are forced to drop their own judgments of each other in the realization that Vinnie's problems cannot be solved unless those around him work together. Because of the incredible gift of social harmony that Vinnie gives us, my immediate family of six is extends to twenty friends whom we consider extended family members. I must boast that, because of some relationship to Vinnie, this extended family comprises the most interesting and diverse dinner tables. We often sit persons of several nationalities and backgrounds together to discuss everything from pleasant topics such as the weather to heated discussions regarding religion. In addition, all of these meals contain Vinnie's contribution of a very speedy dinner prayer.
On the whole, it is impossible to ignore that, without Vinnie, none of this would be possible. Without his love, affection, and unbiased nature, I would not be fortunate enough to have the variety of friends that I do. Therefore, in my greatest attempt to answer the question at hand, I would explain that living with my brother with autism has given me the extraordinary opportunity to grow up in an environment where, despite differences in culture and background, everyone is able to overlook their differences in face of a common goal to help my brother.
First, I might start by explaining the overwhelming amount of stress that Vinnie has caused my family. I could tell stories of times when he ran away from home, kicked or pushed a caretaker, or took scissors to all of the paintings and pictures in my parent's house. I could also tell you that the only reason my family moved from Los Angeles, California to Chapel Hill, North Carolina was so that Vinnie could enroll in the Division TEACCH program at the University of North Carolina. However, while these anecdotes may be informative, they give the false impression that Vinnie is a burden no family should be forced to bear. This is hardly the case, as he brings an immense amount of joy to my family. Thus, in a second attempt to answer the question, I could tell you that I owe my endless knowledge of Disney movies, characters, and songs to Vinnie. I could also tell you about Vinnie's ability to eat an entire wheel of brie cheese, or his collection of every color and style of tennis shoe anyone could have ever wanted. I could also tell you that, despite the chill of North Carolina's winters, he can spend hours at a time gripping the rope of an inner tube on the back of our boat at Hyco Lake in mid December. However, while all of these anecdotes may bring humor to our lives and really do explain “what its like” to have a brother with autism, they fail to account for the way in which Vinnie has changed my life.
In my attempt to explain this, I should start off by telling you about Vinnie's lifestyle. He is spoiled by every single person that works with him (even if they try to claim that they are the “only person who can say no to him.”) It is simply impossible to resist the temptation to give my brother every little thing he wants and if you knew him you would understand why. Vinnie is the most charming person in the world. If he weren't constantly immersed in his own autistic world, I am positive that he would be the most popular guy at East Chapel Hill High School. In fact, despite his disorder, Vinnie and I can walk together through the halls of my high school and hear kids from my graduating class shout “Hey Vinnie!” despite the age difference or his obvious eccentricities. Additionally, it would be difficult to go any place in Chapel Hill, North Carolina without running into someone who wants to stop to talk to Vinnie. It is amazing to me that, although his lack of language and social skills often keep him from answering these greetings properly, no one ever seems to take offence to his indifference.
Nevertheless, Vinnie's greatest gift is not his popularity, his ability to eat wheels of cheese, or even his charming personality, but it is his ability to bring people together. Because of his struggle with autism, Vinnie pays no attention to differences in race, gender, or nationality. Therefore, he is not prejudiced toward anyone (except, perhaps, Cruella DeVille) and he is able to interact with and benefit from a great many different care takers and friends. Moreover, in face of the common goal to help Vinnie in his struggle with autism, all of these individuals are forced to drop their own judgments of each other in the realization that Vinnie's problems cannot be solved unless those around him work together. Because of the incredible gift of social harmony that Vinnie gives us, my immediate family of six is extends to twenty friends whom we consider extended family members. I must boast that, because of some relationship to Vinnie, this extended family comprises the most interesting and diverse dinner tables. We often sit persons of several nationalities and backgrounds together to discuss everything from pleasant topics such as the weather to heated discussions regarding religion. In addition, all of these meals contain Vinnie's contribution of a very speedy dinner prayer.
On the whole, it is impossible to ignore that, without Vinnie, none of this would be possible. Without his love, affection, and unbiased nature, I would not be fortunate enough to have the variety of friends that I do. Therefore, in my greatest attempt to answer the question at hand, I would explain that living with my brother with autism has given me the extraordinary opportunity to grow up in an environment where, despite differences in culture and background, everyone is able to overlook their differences in face of a common goal to help my brother.
back to top or
previous page
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||
