In Their Own Words: When Angels Walk the Earth
By Maggie Dunne
Editor's note: The opinions expressed herein are those of the author exclusively.
By Maggie Dunne
Editor's note: The opinions expressed herein are those of the author exclusively.
When I first learned that my mom was pregnant with a baby girl, I was ecstatic! More than anything, I wanted to be a “perfect” big sister. I wanted my sister to ask me all of her questions and tell me all of her secrets. The day Deirdre came home from the hospital I asked, “Mommy, when is Deirdre going to talk?” and my mom replied, “Soon honey, you have to be patient.” I counted the hours and minutes with building anticipation for the moment when I would finally be able to engage in a conversation with my little sister. At six years old, I was ready to assume my new role and responsibility as her mentor in life.
Sure enough, as time passed, Deirdre started to talk; however, after progressing “normally” for almost three years, Deirdre inexplicably regressed. In addition to losing her ability to speak, she lost many of her motor functions and cognitive skills over the following year. I remember asking, “Mommy, why isn't Deirdre talking?”, but this time my mother replied, “Maggie, I don't know.” At nine years old, I knew that my family's life would never be the same.
Words cannot adequately describe the devastation that gripped my family when Deirdre was diagnosed with autism. While the little sister I once knew was now very different, it was clear that the situation was far more frustrating and devastating for Deirdre than it was for any of us who love her.
Deirdre's world presents her with constant challenges, and she struggles to navigate even the simplest aspects of daily life. At first I thought that Deirdre would never be able to eat on her own, behave well in public, communicate with us, or even sleep through the night. However, as time passed, Deirdre's strength and perseverance put all my doubts to shame. No matter what struggle she faces, no matter how hard she tries to perform a task or to communicate, no matter how frustrated she feels, Deirdre smiles and perseveres, and her positive attitude remains a constant. At eighteen years old, I realize that although Deirdre will never be able to tell me her secrets or ask me about boys, she has given me far greater gifts.
Deirdre's strength has shown me the power of optimism and hope. When I began figure skating at the age of twelve, my coaches told me that I was "too old" to expect to learn double jumps. However, I never doubted my ability to reach my goals. Having mastered singles and doubles, I am now working on triple jumps. Similarly, when my peers doubted the value of the coat and book drive I organized for children of the Lakota Nation, and my ability to subsequently get thousands of items out to the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota, I thought of Deirdre, who despite her prognosis never gives up and continues to fight for her voice. This, in turn, empowered me to fight for the children of the Lakota Nation and resulted in a greater success than I ever thought possible. Being witness to Deirdre's ability to remain positive and to tackle challenges has inspired me to face every challenge with the same strength and courage that I see every day in Deirdre's eyes.
Finally, living with someone who is judged so often has taught me the importance of suspending judgment and recognizing that everyone has something to contribute to the world. I have experienced the pain caused by irrational judgment. Whether this is in the form of an angry sneer at a restaurant or a piercing stare at the mall, when strangers greet Deirdre in public with judgmental expressions, I hurt for her. The depth of Deirdre's character is a testament to the need to look beyond physical and social differences.
Every year, through Midnight Run, I help distribute food, clothing, and everyday essentials to homeless men and women on the streets of New York City. While the recipients are in need of material goods, they are also in search of some positive human interaction. Because I have experienced the pain associated with judgment, I am able to look past the unfortunate circumstances of this ostracized population and make the effort to connect with them on a personal level through conversation. While some people just want to make small talk, others will ask me about what I am learning in school and want to reminisce about their own childhoods and the circumstances that led them to be on the streets. Having an open mind and an open heart has enabled me to touch the lives of others, while feeling deeply touched in return.
Living with Deirdre is as close as you can get to living with an angel. She is completely uncorrupted by society and she would never do anything intentionally to hurt someone or to be mean. She knows no war, she sees no death, she witnesses no crime. All she knows is love, and love is all that she gives. While I did not get the sister that I wanted when I was six years old, I got Deirdre, and she is the most important person in my life. Just because Deirdre is autistic does not mean I cannot be that “perfect” big sister she needs, and I will always support her, care for her, and love her unconditionally. Each and every day, I look into her beautiful blue eyes and I say, “Deirdre, I love you,” and I give her a big hug – and sometimes, she even hugs me back. That hug says more than a thousand words could ever say.
Sure enough, as time passed, Deirdre started to talk; however, after progressing “normally” for almost three years, Deirdre inexplicably regressed. In addition to losing her ability to speak, she lost many of her motor functions and cognitive skills over the following year. I remember asking, “Mommy, why isn't Deirdre talking?”, but this time my mother replied, “Maggie, I don't know.” At nine years old, I knew that my family's life would never be the same.
Words cannot adequately describe the devastation that gripped my family when Deirdre was diagnosed with autism. While the little sister I once knew was now very different, it was clear that the situation was far more frustrating and devastating for Deirdre than it was for any of us who love her.
Deirdre's world presents her with constant challenges, and she struggles to navigate even the simplest aspects of daily life. At first I thought that Deirdre would never be able to eat on her own, behave well in public, communicate with us, or even sleep through the night. However, as time passed, Deirdre's strength and perseverance put all my doubts to shame. No matter what struggle she faces, no matter how hard she tries to perform a task or to communicate, no matter how frustrated she feels, Deirdre smiles and perseveres, and her positive attitude remains a constant. At eighteen years old, I realize that although Deirdre will never be able to tell me her secrets or ask me about boys, she has given me far greater gifts.
Deirdre's strength has shown me the power of optimism and hope. When I began figure skating at the age of twelve, my coaches told me that I was "too old" to expect to learn double jumps. However, I never doubted my ability to reach my goals. Having mastered singles and doubles, I am now working on triple jumps. Similarly, when my peers doubted the value of the coat and book drive I organized for children of the Lakota Nation, and my ability to subsequently get thousands of items out to the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota, I thought of Deirdre, who despite her prognosis never gives up and continues to fight for her voice. This, in turn, empowered me to fight for the children of the Lakota Nation and resulted in a greater success than I ever thought possible. Being witness to Deirdre's ability to remain positive and to tackle challenges has inspired me to face every challenge with the same strength and courage that I see every day in Deirdre's eyes.
Finally, living with someone who is judged so often has taught me the importance of suspending judgment and recognizing that everyone has something to contribute to the world. I have experienced the pain caused by irrational judgment. Whether this is in the form of an angry sneer at a restaurant or a piercing stare at the mall, when strangers greet Deirdre in public with judgmental expressions, I hurt for her. The depth of Deirdre's character is a testament to the need to look beyond physical and social differences.
Every year, through Midnight Run, I help distribute food, clothing, and everyday essentials to homeless men and women on the streets of New York City. While the recipients are in need of material goods, they are also in search of some positive human interaction. Because I have experienced the pain associated with judgment, I am able to look past the unfortunate circumstances of this ostracized population and make the effort to connect with them on a personal level through conversation. While some people just want to make small talk, others will ask me about what I am learning in school and want to reminisce about their own childhoods and the circumstances that led them to be on the streets. Having an open mind and an open heart has enabled me to touch the lives of others, while feeling deeply touched in return.
Living with Deirdre is as close as you can get to living with an angel. She is completely uncorrupted by society and she would never do anything intentionally to hurt someone or to be mean. She knows no war, she sees no death, she witnesses no crime. All she knows is love, and love is all that she gives. While I did not get the sister that I wanted when I was six years old, I got Deirdre, and she is the most important person in my life. Just because Deirdre is autistic does not mean I cannot be that “perfect” big sister she needs, and I will always support her, care for her, and love her unconditionally. Each and every day, I look into her beautiful blue eyes and I say, “Deirdre, I love you,” and I give her a big hug – and sometimes, she even hugs me back. That hug says more than a thousand words could ever say.
Maggie is a high school senior who was accepted early decision by Colgate University, where she will attend next Fall. She intends to major in Native American Studies and English. Last year, for the Westchester-Fairfield Walk Now for Autism, Maggie raised over $3,000 as a member of the Scarsdale CHILD Walk Team.
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editors@autismspeaks.org.
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