Living with Asperger's Syndrome
A teenager recounts her memories of growing up with Asperger's
By Hannah Fjeldsted
Editor's note: The opinions expressed herein are those of the author exclusively.
A teenager recounts her memories of growing up with Asperger's
By Hannah Fjeldsted
Editor's note: The opinions expressed herein are those of the author exclusively.
My name is Hannah Fjeldsted and I have Asperger's Syndrome. I was born in 1989 in Cambridge, Massachusetts, but have lived in New York since I was one, mostly in Scarsdale, where I've lived since I was eight. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was about three or four years old and I've had support and therapy (OT, special ed, speech therapy, etc.) almost my entire life. Support and therapy has changed my life and has helped me to make tremendous progress. I'm a senior at Scarsdale High School and for Senior Options (an internship program at my school), I'm interning at Autism Speaks. I'll be graduating from high school in June. I'm going to college at Utah State University, where I'll probably major in environmental science. As part of my internship, I am writing about my experiences I've had with Asperger's. In
my first essay,
I focused on childhood memories and self esteem issues. In this essay, I will discuss how support and therapy have made a difference in my life, as well as my hopes for the future.
Asperger's has been more of a blessing than a curse for me because it has given me obstacles that I have had the opportunity to surmount and learn from. I could not have come this far if it wasn't for the support and therapy I've had all my life.
LRC (Learning Resource Center) and Special Ed helped me be more tactful and careful about what I say, so I don't offend people anymore. I took OT (Occupational Therapy) in my early childhood, which helped me surmount my sensory problems. Over time, I became less and less sensitive to noise. In sixth grade, I officially stopped screaming in the midst of loud sounds or people talking at inappropriate times.
In middle school, I had problems focusing. I was lost in my internal thoughts during class and didn't concentrate on what the teacher was saying. So, I wouldn't understand the material the teachers taught that day and the LRC teacher would explain it to me. It was much easier to pay attention when it was just me and my LRC teacher, so I would understand the material much more clearly when it was just the two of us. I also had difficulty turning in assignments. Even though I did the homework, I was too nervous to hand it in if the teacher didn't ask for it. So, the LRC teacher would tell my teacher to make sure that they asked me for the assignments. I was also really nervous and reluctant to ask the teachers questions when I needed help. I would just attempt to find the answer independently, but I would either find the answer too late or not see the teacher until I had serious issues that I couldn't resolve on my own. In high school, I was really afraid to set up meetings with teachers. I wasn't afraid of the meeting itself. I was just nervous to approach the teachers to set up the meetings. So, my LRC teacher would call my teachers in advance and we would set up the meetings together. As time went by, I gradually became less and less dependent on the LRC. When I got to high school, I started turning in assignments on my own, whether the teachers asked for them or not. In tenth grade, I could concentrate in class without my LRC teacher explaining the material to me. In eleventh grade, instead of my LRC teacher calling in advance, she would come down to the classroom and watch me set up meetings with teachers, so I'd be more comfortable doing it. Then, in senior year, I could set up meetings with teachers completely independently with no LRC intervention. If it wasn't for the assistance and support from my LRC teachers, I wouldn't turn in assignments, wouldn't ever meet with teachers or ask them questions, and ultimately fail out of school.
In April of this year, I took a physics test and aimed to finish it within standard time. So, I stayed focused the entire time and refocused myself whenever my attention wandered. When I got to a math problem I was confused about, normally I would obsess with confusion over where to put which numbers. But this time, I just went on to the next question and came back to it later. When I came back to that same question, I knew exactly what numbers to use and I got the right answer. When I returned to a multiple choice question I was confused about, usually I would twist and pervert the answers. But, this time, I followed my instinct to look at the math problem and I found the right answer. I finished the test five minutes before the period ended and I spent the remainder and a few minutes after looking over the answers. This was a big success for me when it comes to Asperger's because I learned to process information quickly and focus like never before. I could walk out of that classroom and say, “I learned the meaning of self-discipline.”
Speech therapy helped me improve my social skills. Before I had speech therapy, I often didn't know what to say to keep a conversation going. I couldn't quickly process what people were saying and often didn't know how to respond. This year, I've recently begun to have long conversations, the longest ones being twenty minutes or longer. It's getting easier and easier to keep a conversation going. Speech therapy also helped me modulate my voice better. I speak more naturally than before and I only have speech peculiarities and difficulty getting the first few words out when I start a conversation. Once I have started and am in the middle of a conversation, I speak very fluently. I also learned from speech therapy to avoid random body movements and use gestures. Additionally, speech therapy and work with the school psychologist has increased my awareness of social cues, such as facial expressions and tone of voice.
I am so grateful for the support I've had all these years. LRC and speech therapy have helped me surmount my adversity with Asperger's and accomplish so many things I could never have accomplished otherwise.
In the future, I hope to diminish my Asperger's symptoms more and eventually be as good socially as people who don't have Asperger's. I hope to make good friends in the future and have long conversations every day. I hope to take more tests within standard time, but I will take advantage of extended time if it's necessary. I hope to apply what I learned from my physics test, attention and refocusing, to other situations as well. I want to minimize my symptoms so that I appear to be neuro-typical. I hope to get to the point where if I was still in the LRC, I would no longer be classified as disabled. I don't want to get rid of Asperger's completely because there are some aspects of Asperger's in which I take pride. I just want to reach the point where my condition is no longer obvious to an observer. I want to minimize as much as possible the impact of Asperger's on my life.
Asperger's has been more of a blessing than a curse for me because it has given me obstacles that I have had the opportunity to surmount and learn from. I could not have come this far if it wasn't for the support and therapy I've had all my life.
LRC (Learning Resource Center) and Special Ed helped me be more tactful and careful about what I say, so I don't offend people anymore. I took OT (Occupational Therapy) in my early childhood, which helped me surmount my sensory problems. Over time, I became less and less sensitive to noise. In sixth grade, I officially stopped screaming in the midst of loud sounds or people talking at inappropriate times.
In middle school, I had problems focusing. I was lost in my internal thoughts during class and didn't concentrate on what the teacher was saying. So, I wouldn't understand the material the teachers taught that day and the LRC teacher would explain it to me. It was much easier to pay attention when it was just me and my LRC teacher, so I would understand the material much more clearly when it was just the two of us. I also had difficulty turning in assignments. Even though I did the homework, I was too nervous to hand it in if the teacher didn't ask for it. So, the LRC teacher would tell my teacher to make sure that they asked me for the assignments. I was also really nervous and reluctant to ask the teachers questions when I needed help. I would just attempt to find the answer independently, but I would either find the answer too late or not see the teacher until I had serious issues that I couldn't resolve on my own. In high school, I was really afraid to set up meetings with teachers. I wasn't afraid of the meeting itself. I was just nervous to approach the teachers to set up the meetings. So, my LRC teacher would call my teachers in advance and we would set up the meetings together. As time went by, I gradually became less and less dependent on the LRC. When I got to high school, I started turning in assignments on my own, whether the teachers asked for them or not. In tenth grade, I could concentrate in class without my LRC teacher explaining the material to me. In eleventh grade, instead of my LRC teacher calling in advance, she would come down to the classroom and watch me set up meetings with teachers, so I'd be more comfortable doing it. Then, in senior year, I could set up meetings with teachers completely independently with no LRC intervention. If it wasn't for the assistance and support from my LRC teachers, I wouldn't turn in assignments, wouldn't ever meet with teachers or ask them questions, and ultimately fail out of school.
In April of this year, I took a physics test and aimed to finish it within standard time. So, I stayed focused the entire time and refocused myself whenever my attention wandered. When I got to a math problem I was confused about, normally I would obsess with confusion over where to put which numbers. But this time, I just went on to the next question and came back to it later. When I came back to that same question, I knew exactly what numbers to use and I got the right answer. When I returned to a multiple choice question I was confused about, usually I would twist and pervert the answers. But, this time, I followed my instinct to look at the math problem and I found the right answer. I finished the test five minutes before the period ended and I spent the remainder and a few minutes after looking over the answers. This was a big success for me when it comes to Asperger's because I learned to process information quickly and focus like never before. I could walk out of that classroom and say, “I learned the meaning of self-discipline.”
Speech therapy helped me improve my social skills. Before I had speech therapy, I often didn't know what to say to keep a conversation going. I couldn't quickly process what people were saying and often didn't know how to respond. This year, I've recently begun to have long conversations, the longest ones being twenty minutes or longer. It's getting easier and easier to keep a conversation going. Speech therapy also helped me modulate my voice better. I speak more naturally than before and I only have speech peculiarities and difficulty getting the first few words out when I start a conversation. Once I have started and am in the middle of a conversation, I speak very fluently. I also learned from speech therapy to avoid random body movements and use gestures. Additionally, speech therapy and work with the school psychologist has increased my awareness of social cues, such as facial expressions and tone of voice.
I am so grateful for the support I've had all these years. LRC and speech therapy have helped me surmount my adversity with Asperger's and accomplish so many things I could never have accomplished otherwise.
In the future, I hope to diminish my Asperger's symptoms more and eventually be as good socially as people who don't have Asperger's. I hope to make good friends in the future and have long conversations every day. I hope to take more tests within standard time, but I will take advantage of extended time if it's necessary. I hope to apply what I learned from my physics test, attention and refocusing, to other situations as well. I want to minimize my symptoms so that I appear to be neuro-typical. I hope to get to the point where if I was still in the LRC, I would no longer be classified as disabled. I don't want to get rid of Asperger's completely because there are some aspects of Asperger's in which I take pride. I just want to reach the point where my condition is no longer obvious to an observer. I want to minimize as much as possible the impact of Asperger's on my life.
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